21st Century Crime Visits Us

It does appear that someone has committed identity theft on me.  And so begins a doubtless Kafka-esque descent into proving who I am to the IRS.

In early March I received a letter from the IRS, addressed to me, at my home address, with my correct SSN…Dear Taxpayer, it began.  "We have received your income tax return [for tax year 2013] and are in the process of conducting a thorough review of your return information…. You are not required to do anything at this time.  If you have not received your refund or been contacted by us within 60 days…" then I can call them.

I didn't wait, for one simple reason: At that point I hadn't filed my 2013 tax returns, and knowing how I arrange my withholdings, I doubted I had any refund coming to me at all!  So who the heck was using my SSN and filing taxes in my name?

The next day I called the IRS, and Ms Whitaker (operator 2869369) said, in effect, this kind of thing happens all the time now--that The System would likely reject the false submission.  She clicked a few more keys, and said Hmmm…according to The System, there is nothing on file for me for 2013 yet…so perhaps this was in error?  She advised me to finish completing my taxes and try to file electronically anyway, and see what happened.

Ten days later, I finished working up my taxes (I was right, I owe this year, I'm not getting a refund).  I also received a second letter from the IRS, highlighting "Changes to your 2013 Form 1040": they were adjusting "my" refund to over $9,000…and that I still didn't need to do anything, because "within 4-6 weeks" my refund will be sent.

A roughly $10,000 swing from what I owe to what some yutz is claiming in my name as a refund brought me to another call to the IRS.  This time, Ms Bass (operator 1002674707) took it a bit more seriously, and put an alert on my account to stop the refund, and to start an investigation into this attempted fraud.  She advised me to file by paper, and that within 30 days someone would be reaching out to me to start the investigation.

As of today, that's where things stand.  There is, as yet, no other evidence of anything untoward happening: my bank accounts and credit cards are all in balance and I see nothing unexpected happening there.  This week I'm eligible for my next free credit report, so I'll verify that nothing false is happening as well.  And in the interim, I read in Fortune that in 2011, the last year for which there were data, the IRS paid out over $4 billion in these kinds of fraudulent refunds.  I find that figure a little hard to believe, but there we are: somehow my SSN and name have been swept into a criminal effort to defraud the government.

I can only imagine the bureaucracy that awaits, as I try to convince the IRS that I really am who I think I am.  And, to ensure that they honor the correct set of filings, and disavow the incorrect ones, and don't hold me to the incorrect ones down the road.  And, that next year this doesn't recur.  And, that they actually accept my filing next year without nearly as much angst.  And, that we're able to identify the yutz in question, and ensure s/he is held to fullest account for all this.

This is a prime instance of that old rule: It's Always Something.

Our New Bathroom

After about five weeks of work, and about five weeks of living out of the kids' bathroom, our new master bath reached a state of "done"ness that allowed us to move back in.  There are still a few things that need to be finished off, but that first shower in our new space left Mary purring and very, very glad we'd made this investment.

Here's some of the before-and-after!

Old 3x3 shower replaced by an angled 5x3.5 shower.

The tub took up too much space in the corner like that, so it's now a smaller tub and tucked against the outside wall.

Goodbye soffit and Laura Ashley stencil and ginormous mirror; hello gorgeous!

 Some last adjustments need to be made, but overall we're very pleased with how this turned out.  You can't see the wireless Bluetooth speaker we installed in the shower so Eric can hear music or the radio in the morning.

Now the debate begins: Mary favors moving on to do the kids' bathroom, while Sarah desperately wants the kitchen redone next.  And me, I just look at the checkbook and wince…  But seriously, it needed to happen, and we're very pleased with how well Daniels Design did on the job.  Come by and take a look sometime!